This is Brett's Story

My name is Brett and this is my story.

I grew up very well, family, friends. I didn't have a need for much, but I just always navigated towards trouble. And so that led me down a lot of different journeys in my life that were terrible. First time I was incarcerated was 17, stole somebody's car and took it for a joyride and destroyed it and left it somewhere. Actually, I drove it to my house and there was mud on the tires. And so when the police came, we were drinking, and so they came and followed the mud tracks all the way to my house. But the level of homelessness for me is I would literally on the St. Louis Metro and the Arizona, the Maricopa County Metro, I would donate plasma and just find little temp jobs. And I always had money at some kind of way.

I just somehow managed to work a job or whatever. And I would buy a cheap half gallon of vodka. I drank about a half gallon vodka a day. And so I would buy a half gallon of vodka and I would sit on that metro. I would pour myself a drink and I would drink till I fell asleep. And I'd have a 30-day pass so I was legally able to ride the train. And so that was my ticket to warmth in the winter or cool in the summer. I just rode the train from one end to the other. I'd get off and then I'd ride it all the way back.

And then I would live behind buildings and behind dumpsters or whatever, just places that I thought maybe nobody would want to show up to, try to rob me when I'm sleeping or something like that. At the end of my road there, I was sitting in Crystal City. And when I was in Crystal City, I was using drugs and drinking and I knew I wanted to quit. I was done, but just my body physically couldn't stop. No matter how much I wanted to, I didn't have the will because I would just get sick and start getting sick from all the different things I was doing. And so I just laid down on a mattress on the floor and I just remember crying out to God and I just said, "I'm done with this thing. Just take it away. Just take this thing away." And I had been through different detoxes and stuff like that over the years, but this time I really felt like I was done, but I didn't know how to get there.

And that's a story I think for a lot of people is they just don't know what to do in a lot of situations. And so I was kind of there. But anyways, the same week was Thanksgiving and this was 2018. And it was Thanksgiving and we usually go to my grandma's house. And so we went to my grandma's and got to see the family. And then the next day after Thanksgiving, the police showed up where I was living. The person I was with, there was no situation, but they had just showed up to do a wellness check. Had guns in my face and everything and put the cuffs on me and took me to jail. And when those cuffs went on me that time, like I said, in and out of jail my whole life, but when those cuffs went on me and I got put in the back of that police car, it was like a weight was just lifted off my shoulders. I knew I was getting ready to get clean and sober and I know that God showed up in that moment. And sometimes God showing up looks like something we don't want. For me, it was a cop car.

And so anyways, I go to Jefferson County Jail and then I'm in St. Louis County Jail. And when I get to St. Louis County Jail, I ended up in the hole. I got into a little altercation with a guy and I just remember asking the guards for a Bible. And as I'm asking them for a Bible, they're denying me a Bible, denying me books because I'm in punishment. And when you're on punishment, you don't get any kind of benefits. And so finally I convinced one of the guards to give me a Bible and I opened it up and it was a Blue Gideon Bible. And in the beginning of those Bibles, they have different things that you're struggling with.

And I don't remember what it said, but I do remember the scripture and it was John 14:6. And it said, "Jesus said to them, I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." And when I read that word truth, it was just something just clicked inside of me. And I said, you know what? I've been a liar my whole life. I've been a liar my whole life and now I'm done. It was just like that. And so I just started being honest with myself because I didn't just lie to people, I lied to myself about who I was. I created a whole person that just wasn't me. I started praying, little things started happening. The Lord started revealing stuff to me that had to go.

And so then something happened that this is really what led me to where I am today, was I would call my mom every week. And one time I called her and she walked outside and I knew something was wrong. She was like, "Hold on a second." And she said, "It's my mom." And I said, "What happened?" And she said, "She had a stroke." She was watching my cousins and she had a stroke and she had a catheter sticking out of the top of her head because the fluid wouldn't drain down out of her brain. And I just felt like in that moment, God put it on my heart that she's fine. Don't worry about it. She's in her 70s. She's good. She's still active. She's always happy. And I had just seen her at Thanksgiving before I got locked up.

And so I'm sitting there and I'm praying. I'm praying to God, waking up, praying throughout the day, praying. Then one day I had this dream, vision, whatever, it's just as real as this room is. And I looked to the left and I see my grandma sitting there her back facing me in one of those chairs that a king or queen sits in with the headrest over the back, the backs over the back, whatever you call those chairs. And I walked over to her and she smiled real big. She looked at me and I said, "Oh, I knew grandma was all right. I knew that she was fine." And she smiled. She put her arms up and I went to hug her. And when I hugged her, this feeling shot through my body that's not from this earth. If I could explain it, just complete peace, tranquil, all the things in life that we think matter, it was gone in a moment, just in that split second. And that catheter that was in her head, it was gone.

I jumped up out of my bed in reality and I felt that feeling for a split second of just, all this stuff that I'm worried about, even my court date, even being in jail, it means nothing. And so my heart was pumping real hard like adrenaline and I didn't know what this feeling was. A couple days later, I was really just trying to process it and praying to God, asking him what was that? What was that thing? And what God ended up showing me was that I know my grandma, she passed away shortly after that, and so after that, God was just telling me that I know you're done living that life that you were living. I know you're done living that life that you're living and I know how much you love your grandma. I know that you're not going to be able to see her again. And that's why I allowed you to see her right now because she's with me now. Heaven is real. I'm real and you can live your life now. And so I was able to really get real freedom from my grandma's passing.

And so just knowing that God is real, it changed everything. I was homeless for five years. And so my passion was to help people who are on the streets and homeless. And I was going to be homeless when I got out of jail, but I didn't even care at that point. I was like, you know what? Yeah, it's going to be kind of weird, a homeless guy trying to help homeless people. But you know what? At that point, I didn't care. I just knew that Jesus is real and I just wanted to tell everybody about it. And with our ministry, we go into the streets and we try to get folks who are homeless and who are ready for that change, we try to get them into a program. We have a six bedroom house right now, currently a supportive housing that we help people to rebuild their life. And we actually have a Sunday School program in Pakistan now.

So I've been overseas and been in Pakistan many times. And God has just done things that I never would've ever though I did or would ever do. And so I bought a car, I bought a house and got married all in the same year. And it was all divine. It was all things that I didn't try to do that he brought into my life. And so I just want to encourage anybody that's listening that it doesn't matter. Even my own family had no hope that my life was going to change. And anybody who might be listening to this and is struggling, there's no shame in letting go of that thing and just asking someone for help because right at the end of you asking someone for help is someone who is going to come through with an answer.